Emotions they get lost in all the teenage drama, you lose your sense of who you are and there is that one person who always brings you back to yourself and keeps your feet on the ground, they criticize you but they also encourage you. They tell you that in the end everything will be okay, well I have lost touch with this person, this person was always my dad... He would always make sure i knew that i was doing something wrong but he would also encourage me to fix my action and make it better, do it the right way.
At one point in my life I looked up to my Father, I thought that he was the greatest dad in the entire world, he would take me fishing every weekend... He would take me to baseball games and Nascar races, we would go camping and to seaworld. He was someone i look up to. He was the reason I believed in myself to perform to sing, to write, to be myself, to inspire the world. He was more then my dad, he was my hero. He was someone who inspired me to try everything and to never give up. He taught me to argue my points, make sure that my voice was heard. He taught me to never take no for an answer, to make them give valid points on why the answer is no and persuade them to change their answer. He told me to always ask questions, get every little tiny detail of a story that you can. He taught me to look for the little things, notice when even the tiniest thing has been moved.. He taught me how to people watch, to look for signs of anger, sadness, extreme happiness, he taught me almost everything i know.
He was once a great man but then drugs and alcohol took over, he left me for them. He walked right out the door, I pleaded for him to stay, he just kept going and thats when i lost all my emotions for him, he promised we would still go fishing, lie, he was drunk when he spoke those words. I dont believe anything he says anymore because they may be the words of a man that i once loved and looked up to but all they really are are lies and broken promises.
He drinks away everything and he even disowned me at one point, he never answers my calls, so i dont answer his.
I have given up on him until he gives up on drinking because drinking, the alcohol clouds your judgement you say things that you never wanted to hear come from your mouth, you dont remember saying them either which makes it ten million times worse.
Alcohol is a psychoactive drug that has a depressant effect. A high blood alcohol content is usually considered to be legal drunkenness because it reduces attention and slows reaction speed. Alcohol can be addictive, and the state of addiction to alcohol is known as alcoholism.
That is the scientific definition of Alcohol.
My definition:
Alcohol is a drug, a drug that makes your judgement suck, it makes you forget your family and the ones you love, you only see what you want and then you dont remember a damn thing. You become belligerent, arrogant and ignorant. You become brainless, dazed, deficient, dense and foolish. You become addicted to the aliveness you think you are feeling but in reality you are slowly suffocating your insides, your liver begins to quiver, tremble and dwindle into nothing.
You become a mindless brute.
Happy Fathers Day, Larry. I hope that you enjoy not getting a phone call from me this year. I used to love you, but now I only love the man you used to be. <3
-Enemy of my soul.
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