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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The battle..

It's like I want to forget you and move on but the other half of me is telling me that it's you it's always been you and always will be you. I know that I love you with all my heart and I know that you love me but we make all these plans and goals and things that could really happen. They could if we actually tried and got things in motion but yet I sit here and wonder how long would you really stay around with a child and two dogs and a girl that is way to emotional. I mean I know you can put up with me but the dogs are a handful plus carter that makes four handfuls. I don't even have enough hands to feed the dog let them out make sure the don't escape, while making a bottle holding carter getting him to stop crying and than feeding him. It's a lot of work and I mean I know you want to handle it. I know you want to make this work but a baby two dogs bills to be paid and doctor visit. Special needs, my treatment, physical therapy, the dogs have to walk at lest once a day, getting them trained better all of that is a lot to handle and it's not even the full depth of it.  I would understand you backing out and forget I existed. But anyway back to the original reason i was writing this. I think sometimes it would be best to walk away and move on. But I couldn't find anyone who I love as much as you. Things are so complicated for us and it would make it easier if we weren't together or even talking. But I can't go a dy without talking to you. Maybe I'll try. I don't think it will work. But idk tomorrow I guess I just won't talk to you and we will see how long I last. Buh I already don't like the sound of that. Going to end this here because I'm tired and upset.