On monday, I got sick... It's made me not want to eat and now I have this empty pinching feeling in my stomach, like it needs food, it wants it but I know that it can not have it because, I strive for perfection and my body is anything but perfection. It's time to change who I am from the outside in... well maybe from the inside out... Idk but a big change is coming, I can feel it. School is starting to mean more, Work means a lot, I want to be the best girlfriend there could ever be.I hate when I get the sudden urge to change, a lot goes on in my head, a lot of thoughts that shouldnt ever enter a 17 year old girls head, thoughts that could put a grown man or a really butch lesbian to tears. Thoughts that make me want to abandon the world. This change could be dangerous, this change will be different than all the rest, I know it will, I can feel it. I feel motivation, determination pulsing through my veins. I feel the strength to be better building up. I feel it all. This will be good for a little while, but when I cant hit perfection again... I shall implode and hell will break lose in my mind... and on my skin.
Why do I strive for perfection? Why do I strain myself for perfection? Why do I want perfection and control more than anything in this world?
-Breaking Suffocation. :/ (should have been posted on Wednesday the 15th, )
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