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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Orange is the new black.

God, this show is like my life. It isnt exactly the same but it sure is close. But being on house arrest and doing this day by day shit isn't working. I can't deal with any of this. I just want to be dead or in prison at least there I wont have to deal with all the shit and the looks and the constant battle of never being enough. Ill be just a number or a last name or even just a tombstone that people pass without a second thought. The last eight fucking months have been hell and I have been shutting down and I am ready to just shut down completely. At least if I go to prison, it will be a day in and day out same shit. At least than I wont have to deal with the outside world. I could do my time and come out and do something completely different.

I honestly believe that it should have been me sitting in jail or prison than her. I deserve that more than her.

God fuck this writing shit. My one passion doesnt even matter anymore.